Tuesday, December 28, 2010

One step closer to the edge...

I started this blog as a way to vent about my separation from my husband...I have found it very helpful to be able to write about it and my emotions during this incredibly difficult time. Thank you to those of you who read this and support me. 

I am PMDDing like a bitch. If you don't know what PMDD is, I strongly urge you to look it up. As if PMS isn't bad enough...well PMDD is a billion times worse. Mood swings, cravings, deep depression, physical pain...NOT COOL. So I've been crying most of the day and am suicidal at the moment. Hopefully this will pass, as I am alone in the house. If you don't believe depression is a serious disease, well, you're a complete idiot to be perfectly honest. I've struggled with it since I was 13. On top of that, I have extremely bad anxiety and, with that, comes panic attacks. If you haven't had one of those, imagine your heart pounding out of your chest, tunnel vision, and not being able to breathe. I seriously feel like I am going to die during a panic attack. I had one yesterday and they've been more frequent since I've been separated. I have more medical problems than a freakin 80 year old, I swear. I'm so sick of having to deal with all of this, but I HAVE to...Lord, give me the strength...

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