Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Tired and Sad...

I don't know what it is today, but I CANNOT wake up. I've been out with my mom to run errands and everything and I'm still exhausted. I got a good night's sleep, too...it's probably because it's "that time of the month". 

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my dearest Grammy. She passed away in March unexpectedly. I was SO incredibly close to her. We talked all the time on the phone and just always clicked so well. She understood everything I was going through and always had words of encouragement and comfort. She, seriously, was the best person that has ever existed. She had a heart of gold and never said anything bad about anyone. She found the good in everyone. I can still hear her voice. There are times when I just sit and sob because I miss her so much and can't believe she is no longer with us. I'm crying right now as I write this. Oh Grammy, you are loved so deeply by so many. There is a void in this world without you in it. I know you heard the boys and I sing at your funeral...even though it was through tears and incredibly hard to do. That was all for you and you gave us the strength to do that. I love how I have your singing voice. You had the voice of an angel. I love that you sang bass and I always tried to sing as low as you...I almost matched it, too! I miss the slimy cheese we would have on road trips to Bloomington. I miss staying with you on Wysong Drive. I miss EVERYTHING. I had a dream not too long ago where you came to me and let me know you are okay...that was so comforting. I know exactly where you are and I know you're showing up all the angels with your singing! I also know you're singing with Grampa Wendell, which is AMAZING. I miss you both so much. I promise you that I will try more often to get a hold of Grampy on the phone. I can't imagine what he's going through without you...after 60+ years of marriage. I wish I could hug you one more time. I wish I could kiss you one more time. I wish I could smell you one more time. You will forever be in my heart and I will tell my children and grandchildren about you...you will NEVER EVER EVER be forgotten. I love you with all my heart. 

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