Heartbroken

It's Tom's 26th birthday tomorrow...I just got off the phone with him and he's planning on spending it with his family...well, some of it. I asked what he was doing after that and he said he didn't know. He couldn't have ASKED me to come over, could he?? Instead, I had to ask if he wanted to see me and he said yes. Why can't men just swallow their effing pride and tell women what they want?! So, because he didn't ask me, I started to cry on the phone. Not cool. I don't want to show him that I'm weak and heartbroken, but every time I talk to him, I end up crying. We used to be so in love...so happy. WTF happened? I thought this love would last...unlike my first love did...it makes me feel like there's something wrong with ME, like I'm unloveable or something. But, I know that I am worthy of love...just obviously haven't found the right person. I thought I had...I thought I had found my life partner...the future father of my children...the love of my life. Guess I thought wrong. We've been through so much together...we've lost 2 children together...we've been up, we've been down...maybe it was just too much. I didn't really believe in love until Chris...then I stopped believing in it again AFTER Chris...then Tom made me believe again...now I'm not so sure love ever lasts...