Tired and Sad...

I don't know what it is today, but I CANNOT wake up. I've been out with my mom to run errands and everything and I'm still exhausted. I got a good night's sleep, too...it's probably because it's "that time of the month". 

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my dearest Grammy. She passed away in March unexpectedly. I was SO incredibly close to her. We talked all the time on the phone and just always clicked so well. She understood everything I was going through and always had words of encouragement and comfort. She, seriously, was the best person that has ever existed. She had a heart of gold and never said anything bad about anyone. She found the good in everyone. I can still hear her voice. There are times when I just sit and sob because I miss her so much and can't believe she is no longer with us. I'm crying right now as I write this. Oh Grammy, you are loved so deeply by so many. There is a void in this world without you in it. I know you heard the boys and I sing at your funeral...even though it was through tears and incredibly hard to do. That was all for you and you gave us the strength to do that. I love how I have your singing voice. You had the voice of an angel. I love that you sang bass and I always tried to sing as low as you...I almost matched it, too! I miss the slimy cheese we would have on road trips to Bloomington. I miss staying with you on Wysong Drive. I miss EVERYTHING. I had a dream not too long ago where you came to me and let me know you are okay...that was so comforting. I know exactly where you are and I know you're showing up all the angels with your singing! I also know you're singing with Grampa Wendell, which is AMAZING. I miss you both so much. I promise you that I will try more often to get a hold of Grampy on the phone. I can't imagine what he's going through without you...after 60+ years of marriage. I wish I could hug you one more time. I wish I could kiss you one more time. I wish I could smell you one more time. You will forever be in my heart and I will tell my children and grandchildren about you...you will NEVER EVER EVER be forgotten. I love you with all my heart. 

"May today there be peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received and pass on the love that has been given to you. May you be content with yourself the way you are. Let this knowledge settle into your bones and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise, and love."

I belong to a group called Hopeful Hearts. It is a group through The Village Church. It is a group of women who have experienced or are experiencing miscarriages and infertility. I went to a dinner at laMadeleine last night with some of them. It was so encouraging, as always, and really helps to be around women who are going through some of the same things I am. We usually meet on the first Monday of every month, but this month we're meeting at the end, so our leaders decided to have a dinner in between meetings. I was really nervous to go, as I have only met the ladies once, but I am so happy that I did. They are such strong Christians with such encouraging words of strength. One of the women is having her first IVF (invitro fertilization) next Tuesday, so please keep her in your prayers. 

My Heavenly Angel

Sometimes angels have a way of making bright the darkest day,
for God is always well aware when you need His extra care.
Their journey and their mission start from the center of God's heart,
oh, so generous and kind; you are always on His mind.
For in His love He will select a guardian angel to protect
and keep you safe when danger's near; so trust Him, and let go of fear.

My Nonny sent a guardian angel pin and cross with wings pin home with my Mom for me. They both have sapphires on them, my birthstone. They are beautiful and this poem was on the cross pin. Good to remember because I definitely need His extra care during this time in my life.

Let it Snow!

It's SNOWING!!! I LOVE snow! It usually doesn't happen in Texas...it makes me feel like I am home. My best friend Katy got in an accident though on her way to work. I talked to her on the phone before she opened the studio and she was really shaken up. She hydroplaned, spun all the way around on the highway facing oncoming traffic and ran into the concrete divider. Luckily, she's ok and there's only a dent in the car! Enjoy the beautiful snow everyone!

Dog Park!

Today it feels great outside, so Tom and I decided to take the girly girls to the dog park! We haven't been in a couple months, so it was a lot of fun, as always. Delia played a lot and is now about to fall asleep and Mandy stuck with us for the most part because she doesn't really like other dogs...just people. lol I forgot my camera, so I don't have any pics, but here is one of Delia and one of Mandy. = )

 

Waiting

Woke up this morning at 8:30. Messed around on the computer, took a shower, did my makeup. Have plans to go to the dog park here in Denton before the COLTS game, but apparently Tom's ass isn't up yet. So I've been calling him trying to wake him up and just sitting here waiting...patience is NOT one of my strong suits. lol Hopefully he wakes his ass up soon! The girls and I have been waiting for hours now. If the Colts don't win tonight, it's going to be a very shitty week. Yes, that's how much I love the Colts and how much they affect my mood. At least I don't break shit when they lose...even though I'd like to. lol Have a great weekend everybody!

Make the Most of Every Day

Live by your own light ~ Shine by your own star ~ Do what you always wanted to do with your life ~ Envision the gift that you are ~ Climb up the hills of your hopes and dreams ~ Take whatever steps you need to take ~ You can't get to the top if you don't try, and it's a journey you should definitely make. 

Try to find more time in your life ~ Do it just for you ~ The people you love and care about will be rewarded with your happiness, too ~ When the calendar is far too full ~ Keep the days from flying by ~ Remember your youth when time took forever ~ Rediscover that child inside.

Spend part of every day just doing something you'd like to do ~ Today will never come again, and yesterday is through ~ The secret (if you'd like to know) to finding happiness ~ Is knowing that it's all around and that your life is blessed ~ By being in this moment and living a day at a time ~ You have access to every gift that will make your sunlight shine ~ Brighten your world with friendships and love and wishes on a star.

Make the most of every day and celebrate all that you are.

-Douglas Pagels